12.13.2008

California......


...how i miss thee. its hard to put my finger on it, is it California that i miss or is it "California as i remember it" that i miss? don't get me wrong, i love Richmond but it does pale in comparison to the western cities, LA, San Diego, Seattle or Portland.

the last time that i went back to California it was nice but it left a bitter sweet taste in my mouth.

i believe that i miss it as i recollect it. 6 years have passed since i lived there and a lot has changed with the state as well as with me. i have grown away from it. (GAST! listen to me, you would think we (myself and cali?) were separated at birth).


and the weather, oh how i miss the weather! ALWAYS nice! the surf, the culture, the everything, its great. still there is something off about it for me. i know that Richmond, Virginia is where i belong. there is no doubt of this in my mind and i am at peace about it. but still my heart breaks for California. so, i am resolved to pray. to pray for my fellow laborers in the church and keep them held up in my thoughts. and i am resolved to stay right where God has me.

2 comments:

Whitney said...

i think you miss In & Out. :)

I tell Dustin all the time... I will move to California in a heartbeat... just say the word. There is just something about that place...

CF said...

Mhilet and I went to Cali (Hunt. Bch.) for my brothers wedding while I was still in the Air Force. There was just something about that place...as soon as I got back, I tried putting in for orders out there. And I was living in Florida at the time!!!

You pose a very accurate question, however. Is it Cali you miss, or "Cali as you remember it?" I was the same way when I moved from Texas. I lived, grew up there, for about 11 years. We had to move (much to my dismay) and it changed me. I had some serious issues and had these thoughts and images of Texas that I held on to.

About 6 years ago I had to go to training in Texas and decided to go back to my old hometown. It was a spritual journey, and I knew it would be. I had grown up and just needed to see for myself if it was really "Texas as I remember it." I drove around the old neighborhoods and God showed me the monuments I had built in my heart that were unhealthy. Like, seriously unhealthy!

Joshua, when leading Israel across the Jordan, had the Levites stand in the river to allow the people to go through. Then they put 12 stones there, in the Jordan and on its banks, to remind the people of where they came from.

I think it's important to remember where we came from; the times we had, experiences, people we met and relationships (good and bad). Those serve as monuments...landmarks to our past. We can look back and see where God delivered us.

Like yours, my visit to Temple, Texas was bittersweet. But it also served as a healing time for me, and I have been able to let go of a lot of those idols I built in my heart, and just take away those things God wants me to take away.